I'm a mess emotionally lately.
I haven't been sleeping. I haven't been eating.
I put on a happy face and fake it to the world but in private, my face is sad.
I feel so alone lately.
I worry that it is only going to get worse. My son is grown and moved out. My daughter is a teenager and doing her own thing.
I read some where that loneliness is a faster cause of death than smoking.
I miss having someone to love and to love me as I deserve. This time of year is the hardest.
I tend to feel unlovable and worthless. I feel that men never want to be the person that I deserve. I just build a wall around myself and wallow in my self pity.
Hell, I fear commitment. Every relationship I've had just blew up into ugly.
But I can't just give up.
So I stood over my Coke and cried.
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