I know this will probably embarrass you in some way but sometimes blogging is the way I express my feelings.
Sometimes I feel like I fail as your mother. I think that I struggle empowering you to feel like you can conquer the world. I feel that I don't give you the strength to be strong and confident to face the days that aren't so good. I want you to learn to be strong on the days that aren't so good. I want you to learn to be confident on the days where you feel like falling apart. I want you to learn to be brave on the most scariest occasions.
I know we've had some hard times. I know that those hard times continue to haunt us.
I also feel like I need to apologize for your father and his failure to be a good dad to you. Just know, I wish things were different but at the same time, if they were different and I had made different choices, I would't have you.
You often think that I don't care.
But I do care very much.
Some days it is hard, and you have no idea how hard it is to be a mother.
I don't make excuses but I didn't have very good role models for parents. My own mother issues haunt me. I never want to do to you what my own did to me.
I knew you before you were born. I chose your name, Katherine Marlene. I spoke to you even when you were inside me.
I wish that you could see how I see you.
You are beautiful. You are funny. You are capable of great things.
I just wish that you can see that too.
I love you very much.
...... your mother
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