Life's Little Inconveniences

I always hesitate to post "Worst Day Ever" as my status on Facebook.

I had a few things go wrong today that caused me to question my sanity and a higher power as to why I was the chosen one today to receive such interesting events to happen.

I didn't cry about anything so there's that.

I did happen to loose my keys at the gas station this morning about 6 AM.  My keys slipped out of my hand and fell to the pavement and rolled in between the pump and the cement.  The crack was only about an inch wide but my bulky keys wanted to show the world that they were thin enough to fit.  The attendant came out with a screwdriver and attempted to fish them out only to push them deeper and out of sight.  *sigh*

I got a ride back to my apartment to get the spare key.  While we were riding, I was using the new app on my phone to transfer money from one account to the other in order to pay for the gas.  In my panic, I managed to lock my account up tighter than a drum and there was no money for gas.  I then had to call my son to come and pay for my gas.  *sigh*

Still not the worst day ever though....

There's more.....

I arrive at work about 45 minutes late which throws off my morning mojo.  I scrambled to get my routine on track.  I then discovered the bin of rotten watermelon.  There were 45 rotten melons to be exact.  These melons had to be hauled out to the organic bin.  We have someone pick up the organics for a compost pile.  Anyway, while I was tossing melons, one decided that I was way too clean in my white shirt and tan pants and exploded in a glory of watermelon vomit and stench.  *sigh*

At lunchtime, I called my bank to unlock my account.  This took about half my lifetime (kidding) to remedy.  Of course, the locked account caused my child support to be delayed and this left me with no lunch money.  *sigh*

I ended up working longer to make up for the morning.  When I left work, I went to the wrong spot to fetch my car.  I parked on the OTHER side of the lot today. Why????  Lord, only knows....

I started thinking about telling everyone that I had the worst day ever.  But did I really?

You would think my worst day would be when my mother passed away or when I fell off the ladder and busted my leg all to hell.  But no, these aren't the worst days. 

I didn't die.  The world didn't implode.  The moon didn't crash into the sun.  

I honestly don't think there is such a thing as the worst day ever.

These are just life's little inconveniences.

Are You Appreciated for the Work that YOU Do?

I am still using my son's laptop with the touchy keyboard.  I hope I can finish this post without giving up.  I also hope that the typos are minimal.

I think I have posted before about loving what I do.

To recap:

When I lost my last job I made a list of all the jobs I have had since I was 12ish.  I circled my top three favorite jobs, two were food service work and the third was Walmart. 

I applied at the local store and was interviewed and hired so fast....my head spinned.  I accepted the position of Sporting Goods sales associate.  I loved every second of it.  I loved the Black Friday insanity.  I loved the Christmas chaos.  I loved watching sales ebb and flow with the changing months.  I also learned.  I earned full time status.  I earned sick time, vacation time, stock options, retirement plan and paid holidays.  I earned employee of the month and I also earned a promotion.

I worked very hard for everything I earned.  I haven't even been there a whole year yet.

I love every tiring second of it.

I manage produce. 

Produce is not for pansies.

It is super hard work, physically and mentally.

I know, you are rolling your eyes.

pfft....

Walk a day in my worn out shoes.

Anyway....

Time came again for a "promotion" of sorts.  I put my name in, was interviewed for the position and was offered the position.

Of course I accepted (yay me!)

But....

I must note here that the one thing that is consistent with Walmart is change.  This is nothing new to me.

A week or so after I accepted the new position, the job duties changed.

It weighed heavy on my mind.  

The new position would not be as challenging as my current one.  The rate of pay would not change.  

I had a heart to heart discussion with the store manager and an assistant manager.  I decided to keep my current position.

I am NOT afraid of hard work.

But....this is not the whole point of this blog entry.

In all of my years of working, I have never ever been so appreciated for what I do.  I don't get a mass email form my supervisor "thanking me for all that I do".  When an email goes out to the whole team, you kind of realize that he is doing that because it is required of him.  It doesn't motivate, it makes you feel less of a valued employee (at least I felt that way).

I didn't just get a 2% yearly raise, I have increased hourly wage by 50% in less than a year.  I make more money now than I have in the last 7 years.

I received a quarterly bonus for the first time ever.  I worked for a billion dollar corporation and didn't even receive a Christmas bonus.

Speaking of Christmas bonuses, we get 20% off our purchases just before Christmas.

I don't sit and wait for someone to hand me something to do.  I don't spend countless hours bored out of my mind behind a desk, waiting for the phone to ring or a quote to be done.  I take ownership of what I am responsible for and I make it happen.

Appreciation can go a long way for an employee.

Take the time, thank them personally.  Give them responsibility.

As an employee, earn what you deserve.  Don't expect it to just fall into your lap.

If you think your job sucks, then it will.

Is There a Flag for That?

I am just frustrated with my country and most of its people these days.

I am not gay nor am I getting married so I just don't give a shit about who can get married or not.  I honestly don't think anyone should get married these days.  Love shouldn't be bound by a piece of paper.

I also think that it isn't 1862 and I don't live in the South.  I don't give a shit about flags.  I really don't.  If it offends you, get over it.  Strong odors offend me, you don't hear me bitching about that.

Good grief people.

There is so many other things that should be a concern other than what other people are doing or what offends them.

I work hard everyday.  I like what I do.  I don't complain about bruises and tired arms.  What bothers me is that I what I make per hour isn't even enough to throw me over the poverty level.  I also don't qualify for aid or help.  I have kids to support and bills to pay.

Why can't we fix that?  Why can't we have poor people parades?  Why can't poor people wave a freaking flag?

Don't even get me started on affordable health care.  I pay for my health insurance and I also have medical bills thanks to my affordable health care.  I would like to hear a valid definition of what is considered "affordable".

Seriously...

America has so many homeless people.  America has so many unemployed.

I see so many kids these days post with poor grammar and spelling.  They can't do basic math.  I don't even think they learn history to even understand the issues today and where they stem from.

Why can we fix that?

Crazies are toting guns into places and shooting whoever they please.  I hear cries of gun control.  What about controlling the crazies?

Why does this happen?  Where is the flag for that?  How about a parade?

Why does no one really care about the important things?

I honestly think our priorities are in the wrong places.

Anger in Grief

I haven't blogged in awhile.

My laptop took a crap and I am using my son's, which isn't the easiest to use.  As I type, the cursor moves around and typos happen.

I also haven't had much to say.  Who wants to hear about my adventures in fondling tomatoes and inspecting bananas?

Anyway....

This time of year is graduation.  It is a happy time for families and students.

As I scrolled through my Facebook feed the other day I came across a photo of my aunt and uncle with their granddaughter.  I teared up suddenly.  My aunt looks so much like my mother.  The same salt and pepper hair, the same shape face.  I starred at the photo.  My cousin's daughter reminds me of my own with long brown hair and a wide smile.  I cried.

My mother died a few years ago from lung cancer.  I never really sobbed over it.  I don't think I grieved like you would imagine what grieving would be like.  It is weird and hard to explain.  I just expected to break down but I never did.

Back to the photo...

I think my tears came from anger.  I am angry at my mom for dying.  It is such a raw and real emotion.  It came from just picturing my own mother and daughter on Kate's graduation day.  This will never happen.

I used to think my mom would be around to share in my children's life events.

I think what angers me the most is that she was so selfish to not see a doctor sooner or to take better care of herself.  She admitted that she hadn't seen a doctor of 17 years prior to the cancer diagnosis.

Maybe is a normal feeling to be angry.

I also think I am thinking more of missing my mother because I have been through some rough times over the last couple of years.  There are times I wish I could just call her.  She had a way of talking you off the ledge and give you a sense that everything will be ok.

Sigh...

Crapload of Easter Candy

I will openly admit that I hate Peeps.  You know, those marshmallow, yellow, squishy bird like sugary things that only come out for Easter.

Why just Easter and who in the hell eats those things?

Anyway...

Why am I blabbling on about Peeps?

I worked at another store today because they have a crapload (big backroom hallway full) of Easter candy and no where to put it.

Well, John and I found places to put it but there is still a crapload there.

I worked twelve hours today (well 11 hours because I clocked out for lunch).

Yeah, long day at another store about an hour away.

It was tiring but good.  I welcomed the opportunity to go and do this sort of thing.  I think that working hard is the only way to climb the ladder.

I know, ladders and I don't mix.  (Guess you need to know a story behind that, but that is another blog).

My goal is to climb the ladder.  My whole thing about returning to Walmart after 20 years is because I loved it so much the first time (stupid reason for quitting).  I should have never left.

It makes a big difference when you enjoy what you do because it makes long, exhausting days so much easier to deal with.

So on that note.....

Bed is calling 

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzpeepsblechzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Nightly Ramble

Feeling a bit busy these days.  Not sure why though.  I guess my work schedule is always changing and I come home always exhausted.  This is a good thing though.  I work hard because I really want to do a good job and go places.  

I lost Oscar on February 10th.  Oscar was one of my guinea pigs.  He was a funny, curious boy that continued to make me laugh.  He was the only one who would sit at the bottom of the stairs and wheek at them for no apparent reason.

He will be missed.

I don't deal with death very well.  I understand that it is part of life.  I just can't be around dead bodies.  It doesn't matter if it is human or animal.  It is not how I want to remember them by.  I like to remember their live selves.  I am just weird like that.  I didn't see my mom.  She was cremated before the funeral.  I wasn't there when she passed away.  This is good because I just remember her alive.

I am rambling.

I tend to do that.

I also talk to myself sometimes.

My daughter always asks why I talk to the guinea pigs or the cat.  I tell her that it makes me seem less crazy.  lol

Anyway, sorry that this isn't mind blowingly awesome but it will have to do.  I am tired and I have to work in the morning.

Mind Dump

I dreamt of my mother last night.  It was a weird dream that included racks of clothing.  A sales person in knee high boots and a carnival act in the parking lot of a store that included large inflatable clowns and a child.  My mom and I were shopping (I guess) and on the way out we saw the clown act with the child and I elbowed her and nodded to the act and she shrugged.  No words were exchanged.  Then the alarm went off and that was that.

Weird huh?

The dream probably means something deep down.  What is strange that I remember the dream so vividly from about 12 hours ago.

I dream of my mom here and there.  I also dream of my grandparents too.  Not always all together and not always every night.

Things have been changing around here.  My daughter's dad and I decided to enroll her in a private Lutheran school here in town.  We are hoping that this helps with social issues and also we hope that it gives her a challenge with her school work.

I was against the transfer at first.  I am not overly religious and I worried about how much it would cost.  

We took a tour of the school and once inside the church sanctuary, I had this overwhelming feeling of being home.  

I used to go to church frequently with my friends.  I liked to sing the hymns.  I liked to listen to the messages given.

Some where along the way, I lost my faith.  I began to question my beliefs.  I just gave up on believing on anything.  I stopped praying.  
After taking the tour, I have been thinking about revisiting the church and maybe getting my faith back.

So there you have my mind dump....just a couple of random things rambling around my brain.

P.S.  I just reread what I wrote and my spell checker doesn't like the word "dreamt".  What the hell?