That above has been rolling in my head all day. I felt that I had to have a quiet day today. I called in to work and just spent a quiet day. I just had to.
I have never kept my depression a secret. I have written about it. I have talked about it.
This morning I felt like I was just teetering on the edge of an episode. By episode, I mean when I fall into a depressive spiral. I have had too much chaos the last few weeks and I just needed to have a day to reel back.
I hope that makes sense.
I feel guilty about calling in but at the same time, I feel proud of recognizing the triggers and dealing with it before it gets out of hand. I hate the depressive feelings and I try to avoid it at all costs.
Sometimes it isn't that easy and I fall of the ledge anyway.
But....
Today I avoided it.
People always wonder how I can be depressed when I have the ability to crack jokes or poke fun at things. To be honest, most comics or funny people suffer from depression. We tend to hide it well.
We wear masks and cover it with humor.
Then there are people with say "just be happy" or "get over it". These people tend to piss me off as they have no freaking idea what it is like to suffer from depression.
Anyway, I am getting off track.
Today I avoided it and tomorrow is another day.
