Piggy Love

Who would have thought that I would have fallen in love with a cute little guy.

I bought a guinea pig for my 15 year old son for Easter.  He wanted a cat but we can't have pets.  Shhhh....don't tell my land lord.

We saw him in a small cage with his two brothers at the pet store.  He was the cutest of the three.  I know now that guinea pigs should have a cage mate but I could only afford one.  We brought him home and tried to come up with a name.

My son decided that his name would be "Dog".

I'm not kidding.

Even though I bought him for my son, Dog has become quite the pet to all of us.  He has his own personality.  He gets into mischief.  He wheeks and chips.  He rumbles and purrs.  When he runs around the floor, his huge nut sack waddles to and fro.  (really...)  He pop corns (jumps around) when he's happy.

He has become quite the joy in our house.

Best of all....he loves hip hop.

Check out his ears.  :-)

Cancer

I normally write a post in Word first, read it and reread it, edit it, spell check it, hem and haw over posting it and then post it.

This is not the case today.  I am just winging it.

Sometimes I just need to do a mind dump and write.

My world has taken on a new perspective lately.  I am learning about different parts of the human anatomy and how radiation works and what chemo does to the cells and there have been discussions about how to have a funeral.

It has been an interesting 6 weeks.

My mom has cancer.

and....it isn't good.

Not like there is a good cancer.  The word cancer is horrible.  It means suffering, sadness, pain, anger, struggle, and a whole bunch of other things that race through my mind.

I knew it wasn't going to be good when mom was admitted to the hospital back in August.  I mean the world's most stubborn person on the planet who hasn't seen a doctor in God knows how long can't be expected to just have a common ailment.  Even I know reality when I see it.

It has been hard.

I live about 5 hours away.  I often wonder how she holds up during treatment or doctor appointments when they say "it is in your bones" or "we need to start treatment or you won't see November". I wish I could just be there to help take her to appointments or to the store or just talk to her face to face.  

It hasn't been too much of a secret that I have unresolved issues with my mother.  I am pretty much sure that these issues will never be resolved.  I've excepted that.

Just because there are issues, doesn't mean I don't care or love her.

I guess in a way, it makes things worse.

I'll just deal with it.

Pringle Economics

I wrote a whole entry and it made me cry so I just saved it in my documents for another time.

I'm going through a rough time lately.

This isn't good when you suffer from depression.

Nope, not good at all.

And to make it worse, I just can't mope on the couch all day and just be depressed.  Oh no, I have to go out into the world and fake it.  Not fake depression, I mean fake not being depressed.  (you knew what I meant, right?)

Money is an issue right now.  I have a job, a good job but the paycheck doesn't go as far as it used to.  I am even spending less.  I am blaming the president (or the government).  I wasn't this broke four years ago.  

Think about it for a minute...and you democrats who think I am bashing him because he is a democrat, you are wrong.  I would bash anyone who doesn't help my paycheck go as far as it used to.

Four years ago a can of Pringles was about 99 cents.  Today they are almost 2 bucks.  

I'll give you a second to digest that.....

Who can afford Pringles these days?

Ok, now how about gas?

Or how about toilet paper?

Try an orange.....

Get my drift?

It sucks.

You know I make $500 too much a month to qualify for any sort of assistance?

I have to creatively budget my money for 6 months for me to even get my hair done while people who don't work can afford to not only get their hair done but also their nails, toes and their upper lip waxed.

I am working and not getting anywhere.  I almost want to quit my job and go back to Walmart so I make the minimum to qualify for state aid on shit.

Seriously.

Where are the programs to help single parents who are working to provide a good home, food and clothes for their kids?

It just pisses me off.

and upsets me....

a lot.

Egg-Zaw-Sted

Yep, I'm tired so I can't be held accountable for any spelling mistakes or if I start rambling.

It's my blog and I can make the rules.

If your tired and you know it ramble on.

I have had a very long week.  One of the longest in Julie history I might say.  (I did say)

My mom was hospitalized last Wednesday with congestive heart failure, pneumonia and probably some other stuff that wasn't/isn't good but we are still waiting on some tests.  I say "we" because even though she is waiting, we all are kind of waiting for the results and by we, I mean the rest of us.  By us...oh I don't know....sister, brother, mother, step dad, anyone else.

I think if she had waited just one more day, I would have had a very different kind of week.

I know I have mother issues but that doesn't stop me from loving her.  She is still my mom and without her, I wouldn't be here rambling on at this hour of the morning.

I also have been dealing with bronchitis.  My stupid lungs can't handle this kind of thing since they have been damaged from pneumonia years ago.  I get the slightest yucky type thing in my chest and all hell breaks loose, I swear.  My voice is gone and lord only knows when it will make its appearance again.

Creating stuff has helped with my mental stuff.  Funny how doing stuff can help me cope with other stuff.  Lots of stuff...

My daughter wants to do a craft fair with all of the stuff we've created.  I want to do it but then I don't want to do it.  Seems like a lot of work do get the stuff to the locations, display the stuff, hopefully sell the stuff and then when it is over, pack all the stuff up and go home.  Oy!

You can see my stuff like this:

Over here:

http://www.etsy.com/shop/Inspiralicious?ref=si_shop

My Inspiralicious shop and that photo above is a purse charm.  You clip it to your purse to jazz it up.  (or you can clip it to anything else that needs jazzing)

I suppose I should get some sleep.  It is the only way to fight the yucky stuff in my chest.

Birth of Inspiralicious

I started creating.

again....

I was withdrawn and quiet for awhile.  I removed my older writings and wasn't going to write anymore.  I basically took my toys and went home.

but...

I have always written.  I never considered myself a great writer.  I can't spell.  I can't use good english (despite the very fact that my mom taught english).  I always thought that no one gives a rodent's behind about what I wrote.

I just wrote for me.  Basically writing for me is like a mind dump.  Things and thoughts roll around in my blonde head with no where to go except out, onto (into) my computer.  I share because I can.  It is like talking to myself in a crowded public place with no one really paying attention to me but then I feel like I am talking to someone.

I digress....

Anyway, I started creating stuff.  I needed an outlet for all my pent up feelings and yucky stuff.  What happened is that I started creating beautiful and fun things.  I enjoy coming home from a day of work and sitting on my living room floor and make a huge mess of bead boxes, wire, tools and what have you and just create jewelry.

I hardly wear jewelry.  Hell, I am wearing the earrings that my ex-husband gave me back in 1999.  These suckers stay put and don't hurt.  I tried bracelets but they get in the way and necklace feel like they are chocking me.  I know, weird eh?

I also make affirmation mirrors.  They have writing on them that says stuff like "You are beautiful and you are wonderful" so that when you look into them, you are reminded that you are worth celebrating.  These mirrors stem from my downturn into the pits of self pitty and feelings of worthlessness and all that crappy stuff.  I created them not only for me but for others who are feeling yucky about themselves.

Sometimes life bites your behind but them you need to find a way to put a band aid on it and carry on.

So, my fun, pretty, wonderful, creative stuff can be found here:

Inspiralicious (click here)