I wasn't going to mention Robin Williams but I guess I just did.
Seems that the whole world is buzzing about it. It also seems that many are also mentioning suicide and posting links to hotlines and such.
Not to be a negative Nancy, because it is all quite nice and all, but why wait to say something after someone famous dies at their own hands?
Many of us suffer from depression. I have written about it numerous times. I struggle daily with it. It isn't something that you can just make all better with pills and conversation.
Trust me....
To describe actual depression to someone is almost impossible. We each feel it differently and yet similarly at the same time. We try all sorts of methods to keep it in check. We talk about it, write about it, sing about it. It is just still there.
Sometimes it becomes too intrusive and we have to go the drastic route to eliminate it.
And that's unfortunate.
I haven't been blogging much.
I have been struggling with my own issues. Life hasn't been too grand. It has been downright shitty.
I am amazed at how well I am holding up.
I did take a time out from Facebook though. This always helps. People are shitty. They may not think that they are, but.... Well, you know.
I get sick of hearing about other peoples shitty lives. I get sick of people passing judgments. I get sick of all of the negativity. I get so sick of the narcissism. I get sick of all the happy posts too.
None of this shit is good for those of us who have depression.
There just ain't a big enough pill for that.
I find that taking the time to focus on other things helps. I start reading more, creating more, getting out more...everything else more and FB less just helps.
I suppose I could write out all of the shitty shit that I have been dealing with but seriously, no one needs to read it. I am not looking for sympathy or solutions. I certainly don't need another anonymous letter showing up.
It's my shit and I'll deal with it.
I just want others to know that depression sucks. You can say poor Robin, he was battling some serious shit....blah blah blah. Yep, he was and that shit won.
Those of us who suffer from depression tend to mask it rather well. We sometimes are silent. Some of us tend to use humor. I think some of the funniest people are also the most depressed.
When reading some posts about Robin and so many people can't understand why someone who was so funny would want to kill themselves.
I know exactly why.
Funny does not translate into happy.
