Lately I have been wondering who I wronged so much that I am going through such rough times.
I've been dealing with work and personal issues for the last month or so. My strength is being tested.
I am so close to saying "fuck it" and just disappear.
This is not how I expected my life to be. I constantly wonder if I will ever be truly happy. Will I ever be stress free? Will my depression eventually win and I will just end?
The recent events are due to my ex husband and his girlfriend. I can't talk about the details because I can see this ending up in court.
What I can talk about is just how I am handling it.
I just don't feel safe; not in my home, not at work, not anywhere.
Today they showed up after being told to stay the hell away until the court system decides who has the rights regarding the house.
I called 911 and it took the police over 5 minutes to arrive. What if they broke in and hurt me? What if they set the house on fire?
People do some crazy shit these days.
I am trying to stay strong but all I want to do is just disappear.
So I am left wondering what the hell did I do that was so awful to deserve all of this.
I have never felt so alone in my feelings until now.
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