I am Afraid of my Vision Board

A vision board is something that my counselor suggested that I do to realize my goals and desires.  It is basically to keep me from losing sight of what it is that I want in my life that will make me happy.

I put up a big bulletin board in my kitchen and tacked on pictures of houses, gardens, puppies and kittens and a trip to Niagara Falls.  (shut up...I really want to see a big ass waterfall.)

I want my own house so I can create my own flower gardens.  I want to have a dog and a cat.  (I already have two guinea pigs.)

Ok, so now that I explained that....

I put an ad in the paper.  I am looking for a house to rent to own or land contract.  It was a small little ad with only 12 words and my phone number.  I didn't think any one would call.

then...my phone rang....

A gentleman said that he bought a farmhouse on foreclosure and is in the middle of fixing it up.  It has four bedrooms, two baths, a new furnace, water heater and ac unit.  It sits on 6 acres of land with a barn and pond.  He is willing to do a rent to own or land contract on the place.  Would I be interested in seeing it?

Holy shit!

So, yeah...I looked at it.  It is perfect.  It would not cost any more than the rent I pay now.  It would be bigger and quieter (I hate my current neighbors).  I would be able to have flowers and animals.

Then I came home to my vision board.

I could have cried.  I could have a house with gardens and have a dog and a cat and ducks too.

But then the fear set in....

FEAR!!!!

WTF?

I have heard life coaches talk about fear.  Fear of change.  Fear of failure.  Fear of this and that....

Fear of what keeps us from realizing our dreams and goals.

So all day I have been listening to my inner voices try to reason with the fear.  I keep hearing my mom "Jesus Christ, who is going to plow the snow or mow that yard?"  "How are you going to deal with the water heater blowing up?"  Mom was always quick to point out the negatives.  She still does even though she is no longer here and it drives me bat shit crazy.  I keep asking myself if I can do this.

I want to do this.  I need to do this. I need to get past that fear and just say screw it, it ain't going to kill me.

At least I hope it won't.

:-S

Piggy Love

Who would have thought that I would have fallen in love with a cute little guy.

I bought a guinea pig for my 15 year old son for Easter.  He wanted a cat but we can't have pets.  Shhhh....don't tell my land lord.

We saw him in a small cage with his two brothers at the pet store.  He was the cutest of the three.  I know now that guinea pigs should have a cage mate but I could only afford one.  We brought him home and tried to come up with a name.

My son decided that his name would be "Dog".

I'm not kidding.

Even though I bought him for my son, Dog has become quite the pet to all of us.  He has his own personality.  He gets into mischief.  He wheeks and chips.  He rumbles and purrs.  When he runs around the floor, his huge nut sack waddles to and fro.  (really...)  He pop corns (jumps around) when he's happy.

He has become quite the joy in our house.

Best of all....he loves hip hop.

Check out his ears.  :-)