Afraid to Sleep

He comes into my dreams, uninvited.

Sometimes I find myself yelling at him.  Sometimes I am crying.  Sometimes we are back to where we were before everything turned wrong.  Sometimes he is just there.

He haunts me still.

A year after.

He still has control and I cannot make him leave.

He is sleeping with my friends.  He is telling me that he doesn't love me, over and over again.

How does this happen?

How does he still exist in my mind when he chose to leave a year ago?  How does he continue to torment me?  How does he manage to turn my thoughts into him?  How does he control me from within? 

I cannot control my dreams and maybe he knows this.

Perhaps my pain still lingers.  

Unending.