Crab Nuggets in Aisle 4

Typically, most days, I love what I do.

I mean for like 18 out of 24 hours a day, I love what I do.

That's pretty good I think.

I hear a lot of people pissing and moaning that they hate their jobs.  Hate is a pretty strong word, right?

I suppose you get where I am going with this.

But there are just some times where I'm driving and it's quiet and my head wanders and I am talking to myself and, and....and.....

I come up with things like:

"I'm fairly smart and creative, why can't I just start my own business?"

or

"There's got to be more to my life than just this."

I guess I tend to wish that I could figure out how to do something I love and get paid for it to the point where it just doesn't feel like work.

People have been just down right crabby lately.  Customers, co-workers, bosses.....you name it, they are CRABBY.

To the point where I can't stand to be around any of them.

It is hard for a person who has depression to keep her shit in check with all of the negativity flying around.  

If I could run a business from home and do what I love without dodging crab nuggets all freaking day long, that would be just great.

Maybe I just need a vacation....or a margarita......or both.

sigh

It Has Been Awhile

I am still here...barely.

It has been a super crazy few weeks since my last post.

I bought the house that I moved out of ten years ago.  Moving back in what quite a chore.  Painting, cleaning and more painting and more cleaning.  Had a few issues with a sump pump and a smelly basement.  Ya know, boring stuff.

Work has been absolutely nuts.  My sales have increased tremendously which means more work.

We got a puppy.

and I need a vacation.

What's a Vacation?

It seems like forever since I have had some sort of significant vacation.

I don't think I have ever had one where I completely unwound from life's little stresses.

It may very well be a long long time before I even get a vacation.

Things just have been building up and they never ever really get resolved or any sort of relief.

I love my job but it does have its stressful moments.  I often consider taking my "damn it" doll with me in the morning.  It is this cloth doll that is ugly and you are supposed to choke it or hit someone with it when you are irritated.  Someday Damn It will have his very own blog entry.

I love my kids but as anyone knows, who has kids, that they can be little bundles of stress themselves.  Just today my daughter comes home from Ash Wednesday services with her dad just ranting and yelling about how she is never going to church again....ever.  She lit into me because I was trying to make an Oreo Torte and I have no idea why that had any connection with church, but um....ok.

Seriously....its an Oreo Torte.  Back off, crab ass. 

I love my guinea pigs but the new pig is a total shit head.  He is young and doesn't understand the house rules yet.  The new pig is still trying to make himself known and chatters a lot and runs around the pen, making a racket.  The older pig has about enough of the new pig.  I think I even saw him eyeball my damn it doll to whack the noobie.

I don't love where I live but hey, its a roof over my head and the rent is cheap.  But the damn neighbors are pissing me off.  The downstairs asshole screamed and swore at me for parking in "his" space.  Um....we don't have assigned spaces. The neighbors next door play this funny game called "Let's See Who Can Yell the Loudest".  If they keep it up, they will learn that the winner will be me.

Oh and I can't forget about my daily dose of pain with my teeth.  I need to have oral surgery to have four removed, prepped for implants, and some serious fixing done.  This doesn't come cheap even with insurance.  To get started, I need to have $1500 up front.  So this means that I have to wait to have any sort of relief from the pain.  My diet consists of ibuprofen,Tylenol, Vicodin, penicillin, mashed potatoes, pudding and occasional cottage cheese.

I think I just need a break.

Oy!