This post may be quite lengthy as I am starting to write it in April. I have said in the past that I need to write to clear my head. I have had some hard thoughts travel through it for the past few weeks and I would like to get them down before I forget what I want to say.
It is getting close to the end of April. I accepted a new job offer last week. It is really hard not to say anything as I won't be leaving my current postilion until the end of May.
A job I once loved is now something I just loathe. It fills me with sadness and I wish I could just get the message out there without seeming bitter. I hope this doesn't come out like that.
My love for Walmart started around 1984 when my grandparents came back from their annual winter excursion to the south. My grandma told the story of how they came across this wonderful store called Walmart. The people were so friendly and the prices were just amazing. Every year after that, grandma would come back and I would ask about her trips to the fabulous Walmart.
Fast forward to 1993...
I was in my senior year of college. I was married and my husband often pressured me to leave school as it was not bringing in any income. I tell people I left because I ran out of money and patience. This was sooo not true. If I had finished, money wouldn't have been a problem but I digress.
I decided to apply at the open interview session for the new Walmart store in our area. I had sat with an assistant manager, answered the questions and then went for a drug test. I waited for what seemed like forever. I didn't think he liked me. I wasn't going to be hired. I wanted to work for the store that my grandma had praised time and again. I wanted that adventure.
Then I got the call.
They wanted me for a second interview. I went in and just nailed it. I believe I was told right then that I was hired as a cashier.
It wouldn't be a glamorous job but I was in the door.
We walked into an empty building. I worked in receiving, checking in merchandise. Every day, the store started looking like it was raring to go. We got training. We learned the famous cheer. By the time opening day came, we were ready.
I did everything that was asked of me. I received raises and then a promotion. I loved the people, the customers. I was good at what I did. I was proud to be a Walmart associate.
Sadly, my first time with Walmart ended after about two years. I made some poor choices. An assistant manager and I moved in together. We had a baby. This was against Walmart's policy and I understood and resigned.
I still loved Walmart though. My son's father was still an assistant manager. We moved where the company sent him.
After about two years, the relationship fizzled.
To make a long story short, since this as nothing to do with Walmart, let's fast forward.
I had been working as a legal secretary for the Manitowoc Company for seven years. The job had become stale. I needed to break free of the cubicle. I was depressed and my therapist suggested change.
One day I wrote every single job I had ever had down. This was quite a list. I circled my top three favorite jobs, two restaurants and Walmart. So, I went and applied.
Not more than two weeks later I had an interview. I sat with the sporting goods department manager, then the zone supervisor and then the assistant manager. I was called in again. They offered me the job.
Mind you, it was a part time, sales associate position but I was back. I was only going to make $8 something an hour. At the time, it wasn't about the money or the hours. It was about pushing myself to succeed. It was about working hard. It was about overcoming challenges and climbing the ladder.
I remembered from my first go around that Walmart was based on Sam Walton's values. I often remembered his quotes and they inspired me. (Going forward, Sam's quotes with be noted and my response will follow.)
"Appreciate everything your associates do for the business."
Walmart used to treat its associates well. It encouraged input and recognized when an associate needed the company to stand with them. Walmart used to care about work/life balance. Walmart encouraged promoting from within. Walmart rewarded for hard work with merit raises and seemed to treat everyone fair.
Currently, I believe that Walmart has turned completely around on this basic principle. My brother-in-law was with Walmart for 23 years. 23 years!!!! He started as a part time lawn and garden associate and worked his way to co-manager. He moved his family to where ever the company needed him. He gave up holidays, birthdays and other functions for the company. He was rewarded with termination due to position elimination. He had the option to move but they had just bought a house and finally the family came first.
My job was eliminated as well. I went from working 4 ten hour day with three days off to working 4 am to 1 pm. I hate it. I hate every part of it. I did it for the company. I thought that if I did whatever needed to be done, I would do it and be rewarded.
As of this writing, I have gone pretty much as far as I could go. I took an assessment to determine if I could promote to the next level and didn't pass. This was the second time that this had happened. I was supposed to have a manager sit with me but he kept leaving the room. My store manager never said anything other than "I didn't know you were taking the test." and this was after I had told her. I felt unimportant. I felt like a complete failure. It had become extremely difficult to put on a face and not be depressed or hostile. My son had a valid point, I was not the failure, my management team failed me.
When I inquired about the assessment, I was told to get with my HR person. When I asked, she blew me off and said that she couldn't help me.
I wanted out.
"The key to success is to get out into the store and listen to what the associates have to say"
"Oh the big wigs are coming, we need to watch out. We need to get our shit together." This is a generalization as to what is said when management learns that a visit is happening. It feels as if the wrath of God will happened and we will all go to hell. When in fact, this should be an opportunity for us to talk to them. Walk with them and be proud of what we do. When they come, they never talk to us little people They never listen to our challenges. I used to talk to our market manager but I stopped once I got the feeling that I was just a hired hand.
"The way management treats associates is exactly how the associates treat the customers"
I used to think our management team was good and decent. I generally enjoyed working with all of them until I saw things that caused me concern. When I was going through a horrible time, I got really sick. I had a bad case of the flu and was on my way to the doctor. My phone rang and it was an assistant manager telling me that I called in on one of the busiest days of the year. I couldn't help it. I also didn't need the guilt trip. It was no way to treat someone.
I also know that some associates are favorites and some are not. It is hard to watch.
I also hear complaints from management about certain associates and instead of correcting the problems, they just let it go. Then the hardworking associates get to work double hard. It becomes stressful.
So I made the decision to leave. I cannot work for a company that isn't the same as it had been. This company seems to veer away from the very foundation that its founder built.
Writing this entry was difficult for me. I feel let down by a company I once had a deep love for. I feel that the company has turned its back on the very foundation that it was built on.
It is sad.
I am also angry.
I wish I could do something to change it. I wish I had a voice. I wish I didn't feel this way.
I wish a lot of things.
The biggest feeling for me is the disappointment. I tried hard to make it to the top but I seemed to have missed it.
