What Do You Bring to the Table?

 

I just realized that I haven't written in awhile.  I guess life has been pretty good lately.

Well, until....

So a guy "slides into my DMs" (like all the cool kids say.  For us older people... This guy messages me on Facebook... not Facebook Dating but actual Facebook.  He asks if we can get to know each other.  To which I respond with a "sure".  He asks questions and I respond.  When I don't respond I get accused of not being interested.  I really am not interested.  I am not aware that Facebook is a dating site.

So this goes back and forth and he puts the pressure on to meet.  I don't really want to meet.  I have the "no new people" mentality as of late and he qualifies as a new person.

I am in my 50's.  I make my own money. I pay my own bills.  I don't need a man.  I am at peace with my life at the moment.  If I invite you in, you better bring something to the table that isn't already on the menu.

He's unemployed.  He seems desperate to be with someone.  He's throwing red flags like they are confetti.

But he wore me down and I agree to meet.

So we meet for drinks and I think we have a good conversation.  I am still cautious.  He touches my hair. (Red Flag).  He touches my back. (Red Flag).

I don't like strangers touching me.

I ignore the flags.  I'm not planning a wedding, it is just drinks after all.

So as we are talking, I am looking to see what he is bringing to my table.  We have a few common interests but nothing to ask him to pull up a chair.  As we leave the bar, he asks if he can kiss me and I oblige.

The next day, I message him and tell him that I passed along his hello to my best friend's husband (they went to high school together).  He says he was wondering if I would message him.  I said I was busy with my side job and finally had a moment. (deck drinking)

He then proceeds to ask for a full length photo.

Are you fucking kidding me?

First of all, not only will you not be sitting at my table, I will ask you to leave the restaurant.

I said that I was not going to do that.

He then goes on to say that he didn't think I was the shy type and asked again for a front and back photo.

Seriously....

What the fuck?

"Why would I subject myself to judgment by a man that I already met me?  Either you like me or you don't.  At this age I don't need to show my body.  If you are looking for a super model, maybe you should try to talk to someone else."

That was my response.

Men my age are seriously single for a reason.

When I am comfortable with my single-ness, I really am picky about the menu.  If you don't have anything to offer, go sit at someone else's table.

It IS all about me.

Today I came home from a long day at work.  I trudged up the stairs with my groceries, looking forward to being home in the quiet.  I even bought new candles to put that relaxing scent in the air that is recommended by the latest articles on rest and relaxation.  I trotted back down to my mailbox in the hallway since my hands were full earlier.  I made the guinea pigs their "nummies", gave Nemo the cat his head scratches and treats, then I sat down to read my emails and munch on my dinner.  

I know, I am just a bundle of excitement, don't be jealous of that.

I glanced over and remembered that I had mail.  I like getting mail for some dumb reason.  I don't even care if it is bills.  I am kind of strange like that.

I opened my letters.  I was so happy to see my new health insurance cards.  The best thing about working so hard and getting promoted to full time is the benefits for my family.

I left the bigger envelope unopened.  It didn't have a return address but it had a local postmark.  I was curious but I waited anyway.  I don't recall why.

The envelope laid on the floor next to the couch until my episode of Roseanne was over.  Did you know Netflix has Roseanne?  I love that show.

I picked it up and opened it.  There was a single piece of paper folded in three and I wondered why someone would put that in a big envelope and pay the extra postage.  Duh...

Once I unfolded the letter and saw that it was a print out of a joke that I posted on Facebook (I know, social media drama) on the 27th of December. 

"A woman just dropped a 20 dollar bill next to me.  I thought 'What would Jesus do?' so I turned it into wine... Well, I bought wine."

It was just some joke I read somewhere and it made me chuckle.  So I just shared it.

Now, I never worry about offending anyone because, Facebook is what it is. No one would post anything if that were the case.  People post the dumbest shit, me included.

Anyway, back to my story.

On the paper was a handwritten note that basically said the reason that horrible things happen to me is because I wasn't a good person and kept the $20.  Oh and, when was I going to get it, it isn't all about me.

This was NOT signed.

Ack!  Another anonymous note....

If you missed it...here's a link to the first note.

Anonymity is a Voice of Cowards

Of course this upset me.

This is such a shitty thing to do.  I mean, write a letter based on a joke that I posted assuming that I actually kept a $20 bill and bought wine.

First of all, I would not have done any such thing.

Second of all, if I had...I would have bought something a little stronger than wine.

(I kid, please don't send me a nasty note)

In all fairness, if this anonymous person knew me at all, they would understand that I do just about anything for anyone.  I have helped friends in pain.  I have loaned money to a friend when he needed help.  I have made gifts for friends fighting cancer.  I have donated my time and money for good causes.  I have rescued turtles from a busy highway.  I have send kind messages and cards to people who needed uplifting.

Now, I do things not to shine bright in the eyes of God.  I do things like this because it is the human thing to do, the kind thing to do.

The thing that really upsets me is that this person takes the time to send this anonymous, hateful thing to me and thinks that it is going to change me.  If anything, it makes me want to keep on being me.

I hate to break it to you, but it is about me.  It is my Facebook page, my blog, my little corner of the interwebs and if you don't like what I have to say, post, comment, whatever....you can kindly block me or stop reading the shit I post.  It is that simple.

I like who I am.  

Sending me a letter by mail without signing it gives it absolutely no validation in my eyes.  It is basically void.

You know, shitty things happen.  It is how life is.  I know this.

It isn't because Jesus hated my joke.  It isn't because God is causing me to suffer.

It is because it is how life is.

Do you think children suffer from cancer because they posted a joke about Jesus and $20? 

Honestly, I am not sure that Jesus would know what a $20 bill looks like.  His time was so long ago and he is from a completely different country.  

This person also assumes that I am even a believer in God, Jesus and Heaven.

Never assume anything about anyone.....

Seriously

Now, I am not admitting whether I am a believer or not.  If you truly know me and know what I am all about, you would already know the answer to this.

Also, if this person who wrote the letter to me was a true Christian, would this be a very christian thing to do?

Take a moment to think about that for a second.

This person who wrote the letter seems to be very interested in what I post, say or do.  They don't "unfriend" me or tell me that I suck and admit who they are. 

They hide behind the curtain of anonymity thinking that this will show me a thing or two.  I am assuming (I know, I shouldn't assume but I am anyway) that this is the same person that sent me the other anonymous letter back in April. 

This person is still a coward.  This person is probably the most unchristian, unhuman, unkind person I know (or not know).

If this person's goal was to hurt me, they failed.

You see, if anyone is making it all about me, it is this anonymous person.

By the way.....The police now have the letter.