Back to the Begining

 

I always knew that I was going to move once my youngest was done with high school.  I was living in a town for 22 years and still felt like an outsider.  Not by anyone's fault.  It was just a town that was small and everyone knew everyone.  I just didn't fit in.

It also didn't help that I was divorced in this small town and my ex lived within walking distance.  He also married a nut job and frankly, I didn't like running in to her. (Yes, he married the nut job from this post.)

I wasn't exactly sure where I was going to go but I did know, I wasn't staying.

I took a trip out to Phoenix, AZ to visit my very dear friend.  I wanted to see if I could possibly call it home.  I booked my flight and in March I went.  This was at the very beginning of the Covid-19 pandemic.  Toilet paper was in short supply and spring training for baseball was cancelled.  I was concerned that I might not be able to get home.  But then again, it would have made the moving decision easy.

I loved Arizona.  It is very beautiful and Scottsdale is so inspiring for a creative mind.  I thought that maybe I could live there.  But then I remembered....it gets hot.  I know, I know, its a dry heat.  I don't care.  When it is 120 degrees, it is still hot.  I'm not a huge fan of hot.

I came back to Wisconsin with fond memories that I will keep close.  I will go back again.

But I still was wondering where to go.

Katie was graduating soon and I wanted to move before it got to be close to winter.  I don't like moving in the winter.

I had thought about moving to Appleton or Green Bay.  I would still be close to my daughter.  My son recently moved to lower Michigan and he wouldn't be too far.  I looked at apartments and jobs but something just wasn't there.  I didn't feel like that was the right choice either.

I was joking with my sister and she said I could come live in her basement.  That would have been a good idea except I don't think her husband could put up with both of us.  Then our talk became more serious.

I decided to move home.

Home being Upper Michigan, Yooperland, Copper Country....

The more I planned, the more excited I got.  My friends and family were there.  I could easily find a job at Walmart until I figured out what I really wanted to do.

I set the plan in motion.

In September, I accepted a job with Walmart.  The Walmart where I first started in an empty building in 1994.  I then scheduled some apartment showings.

I saw one apartment and at my first steps in, my eyes teared up.  I kept apologizing to the landlord.  I felt that this was home.

That evening I joined my life long friends at their camp along the shores of Lake Superior.  I had only planned to stay for dinner as it had been a long day.  As I sat and watched the waves roll and chatted with my friends I truly felt as if I was home.  It was getting late and we were laughing about something so funny that we worried about our bladders, tears rolling down and holding stomachs, I overheard my friend's husband say "there is a lot of healing happening here".

How true that sounded.

After so many years of hurt feelings, failed relationships, heartbreak, trauma, hard work, raising kids as a single parent, I truly felt I was home.

It has been about three months that I've been back.  I've seen my sister more in the last four weeks than I have in the last four years.  I've hung out with friends and enjoyed the pleasure of deck drinking in November.  I've met new friends.  I've received many hugs and welcome homes.

It is so good to be back to the beginning.

Birth of Inspiralicious

I started creating.

again....

I was withdrawn and quiet for awhile.  I removed my older writings and wasn't going to write anymore.  I basically took my toys and went home.

but...

I have always written.  I never considered myself a great writer.  I can't spell.  I can't use good english (despite the very fact that my mom taught english).  I always thought that no one gives a rodent's behind about what I wrote.

I just wrote for me.  Basically writing for me is like a mind dump.  Things and thoughts roll around in my blonde head with no where to go except out, onto (into) my computer.  I share because I can.  It is like talking to myself in a crowded public place with no one really paying attention to me but then I feel like I am talking to someone.

I digress....

Anyway, I started creating stuff.  I needed an outlet for all my pent up feelings and yucky stuff.  What happened is that I started creating beautiful and fun things.  I enjoy coming home from a day of work and sitting on my living room floor and make a huge mess of bead boxes, wire, tools and what have you and just create jewelry.

I hardly wear jewelry.  Hell, I am wearing the earrings that my ex-husband gave me back in 1999.  These suckers stay put and don't hurt.  I tried bracelets but they get in the way and necklace feel like they are chocking me.  I know, weird eh?

I also make affirmation mirrors.  They have writing on them that says stuff like "You are beautiful and you are wonderful" so that when you look into them, you are reminded that you are worth celebrating.  These mirrors stem from my downturn into the pits of self pitty and feelings of worthlessness and all that crappy stuff.  I created them not only for me but for others who are feeling yucky about themselves.

Sometimes life bites your behind but them you need to find a way to put a band aid on it and carry on.

So, my fun, pretty, wonderful, creative stuff can be found here:

Inspiralicious (click here)